Erin Jackman (bang_b_a_n_g) wrote in xxdirtylilsecrt,
Erin Jackman
bang_b_a_n_g
xxdirtylilsecrt

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Mental Breakdowns are a Bitch.
You start crying for no reason, or at least you don't know why.
Then worry your mum and little brother until you realize why your crying.
Your mum hugs you and tells you its okay, but you know its not going to be.
It's not going to be becuase you are ready to give up.
Give up on everything.
Life included.
I don't like having to take pills everyday.
But they are necessary for a few reasons.
So I can cope with the pain.
So my 'depression' doesn't take me over again.
...So I can live...
I am so sorry for wanted to give up. 
But I am tired.
I am sick and tired of being fucking sick.
Why is this fair?
Why is it happening my senior year?
I wanted to proove to everyone that I can do it, and I *will* graduate this year.
But everything... it's all piling up on me and i'm getting so damn stressed out.
I can't do it.
So... I'm falling down into a mental hole. 
Mum told me to talk to Danny Joe.
I can't though.
I mean, I have a hard time trusting people...
A really hard time.
And to top it all off, I feel like I'm loosing my best friend.
One person I feel like I can talk to...
Is pretty much blowing me off at all times for her boyfriend.
Other then a hug and a kiss on the cheek when she first walks in the house...
She spends time with him.
I don't mind, they are cute togeather.
And deserve eachother.
And are perfect togeather.
But I miss her, and I needed to talk to her today...
But she was with him. -.-
She was at my house, but with him.... great, eh?
I'm gonna get off my psyco rant now...
Love Love
Erin
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